


comfort food

by earlgrey_milktea



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: Canon Compliant, Comfort Food, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Light Angst, rin talks about his feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-18 13:15:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16119230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/earlgrey_milktea/pseuds/earlgrey_milktea
Summary: “You’re doing it again,” Ryuuji says, watching as Rin startles and nearly crushes the egg in his hand. “Stress-cooking.”Ryuuji finds Rin in the kitchen, and they have a Talk.





	comfort food

**Author's Note:**

> hi ok so i got really emo about one half-human half-demon boy the other night so here is this thing which is just uhhhh Emotions, i guess. idk where along canon this is, but probably after the exwires find out about rin's demon-ness and before they all fell apart.

 

Ryuuji finds Rin in the kitchen. 

It’s Rin’s favourite place to hide, right after rooftops and other hard to reach places. Shima’s reported spotting Rin on top of the clock tower and casually sitting above train stations and telephone poles more times than Ryuuji can count. Izumo has also mentioned catching Rin perched atop the broken fences and old shrines in the abandoned areas of town. Ryuuji’s almost convinced that Rin’s really half-cat rather than half-Satan.

But the kitchen—that’s a sacred place. It’s Rin’s one true haven, a line no demon nor nosy friends nor distant brothers could touch. Ryuuji knows fuck all about what to do in a kitchen, but Rin—Rin finds peace and creates magic that has nothing to do with exorcism or otherworldly things. It’s all Rin’s own.

Today, Rin is alone in the kitchen. Not even Ukobach is in there, and Kuro is nowhere to be found, either. There are plates of steamed fish, stir-fried vegetables, mapo tofu, way too much food for himself. Way too much even if Yukio wasn’t away the entire weekend on some top secret mission. Ryuuji drops his things onto one of the empty cafeteria tables and wanders over to the window overlooking the kitchen.

“You’re doing it again,” he says, watching as Rin startles and nearly crushes the egg in his hand. “Stress-cooking.”

“Bon,” Rin says. He barely spares a glance over his shoulder, not quite meeting Ryuuji’s eyes before he’s turning back around again. “I thought you had extra training with Shima and Konekomaru.”

“They can do without me for a day. What’s with you, though? You trying to cook for the entire True Cross Academy population or something?”

“Shaddup,” Rin says, but it lacks his usual bite. 

Ryuuji studies Rin’s back as oil sizzles on the pan. He’s wearing one of those shapeless hoodies of his, the ones that look incredibly soft and worn, so much so that Ryuuji can feel himself twitch a little seeing Rin stand so close to the stove for fear of the hoodie becoming dirty. But Rin’s shoulders are slightly slumped, the line of his back tense. His tail is drooping on the floor behind him.

“Hey,” says Ryuuji, “wanna talk about it?”

Rin’s shoulders go up. “Talk about what?”

“About what’s got you all strung up.”

“I’m not strung up.”

“Yeah, you are, that’s why you’re here cooking up a storm.”

The sizzling grows as Rin tosses in chopped onions. “I cook all the time. You guys eat my food all the time.”

“Okumura.”

At Ryuuji’s flat, cut-the-bullshit tone, Rin sighs. He turns off the stove. For a moment, they both listen to the sound of the onions on the pan. Then, wrapping his arms around himself, Rin confesses quietly, “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Ryuuji frowns. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know! Like, in general.” Rin turns and leans back against the sink. “I’m here because I’m supposed to be training to become an exorcist, right, and because they need me somewhere where they can keep an eye on me, because I’m demon-spawn, because I’m the son of—of freakin’ Satan. I’m only allowed to be alive right now because I vowed to become an exorcist so I can kill Satan.”

Not knowing what to say—what the hell were you supposed to say to something like that—Ryuuji stays quiet. Rin still isn’t meeting his eyes.

“And I do,” says Rin, “I do want to kill him. Satan. I just. Some days I don’t feel like I can. That I deserve to.”

“It’s not about deserving, Okumura. Satan’s a bad guy, so it’s our job to defeat him.”

“I know that, but I—” Rin’s fingers dig into his elbows. Ryuuji has half a mind to storm in there and grab hold of his hands to make him stop, but he has the feeling that if he does, Rin will shut up and retreat. So Ryuuji stays where he is.

“I’m stupid,” Rin is saying, “I can’t sit still to read a textbook, let alone pass a test. And the cram school crap, you guys are all—you’ve all been doing this for years, and I’m trying, goddammit, but I can’t—I don’t know if I can catch up. I can’t memorize the verses like you guys, I can’t summon demons, I’m barely able to not cut myself with that sword.

“It’s like Yukio says, I’m impulsive, and reckless, and I put you guys in danger all the time. How can I defeat Satan if I can’t even keep my friends safe? This whole time I’ve just been lucky because—because you guys have been saving my ass and I—I’ve just been relying on the flames.  _ Satan _ ’s flames.”

Silence rings through the cafeteria. The old dorms are usually quiet, on account of only the Okumura brothers living here, but this silence cuts Ryuuji to the bone and stings. He sucks in a breath.

“Can I go over there?” Ryuuji asks.

Rin blinks. “Uh. Yeah?”

Wordlessly, Ryuuji makes his way around the counter and into the kitchen. Rin doesn’t move from his defensive position by the sink. He eyes Ryuuji as he approaches carefully. The expression on his face is guarded. But he doesn’t move, so Ryuuji leans against the counter opposite him. Their feet are inches apart.

“I have to disagree with you,” Ryuuji says.

“What?”

“You’re not stupid. Well,” Ryuuji muses, considering, “maybe a little. Academically. But you’re observant, and you’ve got great reflexes. Yeah, I wish you’d think a little before rushin’ in all the damn time, but you watch out for us where you can. I rather like my odds with you on my team, y’know?”

Rin’s staring at him now, brows furrowed like he’s confused. 

So Ryuuji continues, “Today’s practice exam is just a practice exam. In real life, demons aren’t going to sit you down and make you fill in multiple choice questions, ya know that.”

“Duh.”

“You’re usually good at the practical tests, y’know? You’ve always fought for what you believed was right, and even when—even when we were being terrible friends to you, you still had our backs. So now it’s our turn. We’ve got your back, Okumura, we’re a team. We’re going to help you pass the exam and you’re going to become an exorcist and we’re going to defeat Satan. Together.”

Rin glances away, fingers fiddling with his sleeves. “You think so?”

“Yeah.”

“But what if—what if something happens to the sword again? What if I can’t open it, or if I break it, or—”

“You can’t break it,” Ryuuji says. “It’s your heart, ain’t it? Nobody better be breaking it. And if you can’t open it again, then I’ll open it for you.”

“Really? You’d do that?”

“It’s our family’s sacred sword, anyway. But yeah, I told you, right? We’re friends. We’re a team.”

Rin nods slowly. “You’re not... scared of the flames anymore, right?”

At that, Ryuuji takes a step forward. He ducks down slightly to catch Rin’s eye.

“They’re not  _ his _ flames,” Ryuuji says quietly. “They’re  _ your _ flames, Rin.”

The look on Rin’s face at those words will remain in Ryuuji’s mind forever. He’s reaching forwards without thinking, wanting to pull the other boy in, hold him and hide him from all the cruelty the world is capable of, all the cruelty he shouldn’t have had to experience. In the last moment, he changes his mind, reaching up and shoving his hands into Rin’s hair, ruffling hard.

“Ow! What the hell!”

“Come on,” Ryuuji says, pulling away. “Let’s deal with all this food so your hard work doesn’t go to waste, yeah?”

(If Rin takes a second longer to swipe at his eyes, neither of them mention it.)

“Let’s invite everyone to dinner!”

“Only if we’re doing a study session after.”

“What, no way!”

“What did we just talk about, ya loser.”

“You jerk!”

“Dumbass!”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i /do/ have another longer rin-centric wip that's also a love letter to food and rin's love of cooking so consider this comfort food part i, lmao
> 
> midoriya izuku yelling IT'S YOUR POWER at todoroki.gif
> 
> come cry about this boy with me @puddingcatbae on tumblr/twitter!!


End file.
